Fake It

We often don’t realize the impact that wehave on those around us.

Picked up my daughters from school yesterday. Normally I am pretty high energy so on the car ride home I am asking questions, joking and we regularly play “Yellow Car” where you get a point for each yellow car that you are the first to see.Somehow this seemingly innocent game has evolved into a blood sport between my daughters and I. Three points for pink cars but I digress…

Yesterday though, not so energetic. It had been a totally crazy day of meetings and giving presentations and I was completely fried.As a result,I was more quite than usual when I picked up the girls. I asked less questions and canned the usual game of “Yellow Car”.

The girls picked up on my mood, had an argument in the car and when we got home,where we would normally sit and talk a few minutes over snacks, instead grabbed theirs and headed straight to their rooms to do homework. At the same time I headed to my office to catch up on e-mail.

My girlfriend arrived home to a very quite house. We were all off in different corners and no one had said a word to one another since we had gotten home.

It took my girlfriend less than a minute of speaking with me to figure out what was going on. She sat me down, poured me a glass of wine and told me that I needed to fake it.

As she has said to me many times, I need to at least pretend to be positive and energetic even if I am not feeling that way. My mood and the mood of each of the members of the family have an impact on all the others. If she and I are not bringing a positive energy into our home, it can pull everyone else in the family down.

Even though it was the last thing that I felt like, I kicked it up a few notches and started to talk and joke around with everyone. Won’t say that it became a Dickens’s family Christmas sort of evening but it did make a big difference in everyone’s mood and sociability.

Whether it is at home with our families or at work with our colleagues,
the energy that we bring into a room has an incredible impact on those around us. People pick up on our mood and that affects how they in turn feel and behave.

As crazy as it sounds, the energy that we exude and show to others is contagious. If you are with a positive and happy person, you will tend to feed off of that and start to be more positive and happy yourself. If you are with someone who is negative and down, you will begin to reflect that as well.

My girlfriend, being very wise, regularly reminds me that I need to at least fake being in a good mood. When I do that, the people around me pick up on it and it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.

Pretty soon even I am feeling better.

It is no different at work. It can be a difficult environment with a lot of tough things happening but if you let that show, the rest of your team will feel it too.

Even if you don’t feel it on the inside, just like at home, when you are at work you need to be at least acting like you are feeling positive and happy.

This does not mean that you can’t disagree with people and push alternate points of view. But, I can guarantee to you that you will be much more successful if you do this while at the same time giving off a positive vibe.

The way that you approach your work affectshow everyone else around youapproachestheirs. Never forget that you have a big impact on those people.

So, the next time that you sense that your team’s energy or mood is getting low, fake it.